Silence Can Be the Sign of a Strong Relationship

Recognizing when quiet moments signal you are in tune with each other.

Photo by Kara Eads on Unsplash

“In human intercourse the tragedy begins, not when there is misunderstanding about words, but when silence is not understood.” - Henry David Thoreau

There seems to be a lot of noise about the need for quiet time these days. In a world where we are bombarded with the continual sounds of daily life; traffic, television, radio, machinery and chatter, we find silence to be an oddity.

We are especially uncomfortable with silence in the company of others. We feel a sense of brokenness or disconnect. Communication, as in verbal exchange, is valued and encouraged and hailed as the key to a good partnership.

But there are times when silence, the absence of talking, can be an important sign of a strong relationship.

This became truly apparent to me recently when my husband and I attended a snow party with our neighbors and friends. With sleds and snowmobiles, we ventured into the mountains to play.

It was a much-needed getaway from the crankiness of winter. And although I was enjoying myself, part of me felt lonely, even in this boisterous, noisy group of friends.

Realizing What Was Missing

Just outside our gathering spot lay the forest. The trees glimmered in the winter sun, their huge limbs heavy with snow. It was an invitation to step away from the group in search of a moment of tranquility, a rare commodity for me lately.

My husband must have read my thoughts for suddenly he appeared and asked me to go for a ride, just the two of us.

For several minutes we traveled together on his snowmobile. He knew where he was going. Away from the group, up and around the clusters of fir and tamarack trees until we reached a remote cabin perched on the edge of a bluff. Although I was totally surprised at its existence, my husband had been here many times before.

“You have to see this,” he said and lead me to the deck of the cabin. The view was amazing. We stood in silence, gazing out over the valley below, soaking in the stillness. I could see his breath and hear his heart. He…